Tough Love vs. Spanking - Good Argument

Most people think it improper to spank children, so I have tried other methods to control my kids when they have one of ‘those moments.’

One that I found effective is for me to just take the child for a car ride and talk.

Some say it’s the vibration from the car, others say it’s the time away from any distractions such as TV, Video Games, Computer, IPod, etc.

Either way, my kids usually calm down and stop misbehaving after our car ride together. Eye to eye contact helps a lot too.

I’ve included a photo below of one of my sessions with my son, in case you would like to use the technique.

Please watch the entire video. It starts off slow but its worth it.

Check out this cool Halloween Display

A wife got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the
Halloween party alone.

He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and
said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and
there was no need for his good time to be spoiled by not going.

So he took his costume and away he went. The wife, after
sleeping soundly for about an hour, woke without pain and as it was
still early, decided go to the party.

As her husband didn’t know what her costume was, she thought she would
have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.

So she joined the party and soon spotted her husband in his costume,
cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice ‘chick ‘ he could and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there.

His wife went up to him and being a rather seductive babe
herself, he left his new partner high and dry and devoted his time to her.

She let him go as far as he wished, naturally, since he was her husband.
After more drinks he finally whispered a little proposition in her ear
and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and made passionate love in the back seat.

Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and
put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make up for his outrageous behavior.

She was sitting up reading when he came in, so she asked what kind of time he had.

‘Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time
when you’re not there.’ Then she asked, ‘Did you dance much?’

He replied, I’ll tell you, I never even danced one dance.
When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other
guys, so we went into the spare room and played poker all evening.’

You must have looked really silly wearing that costume
playing poker all night!’ she said with unashamed sarcasm.

To which the husband replied, ‘Actually, I gave my costume
to your Brother, apparently he had the time of his life!!!

Dear Mom,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it’s not only the passion…… Mom she’s pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter.
We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone. We’ll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that
live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.
In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it. Don’t worry Mom. I’m 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I’m sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.

Love,
Your Son,
Jon

P. S. Mom, none of the above is true. I’m over at Tommy’s
house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things
in life than the report card that’s in my center desk drawer. I love you. Call me when it’s safe to come home.

The Heaviest Element Known to Science

Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science.

The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of morons promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

Girl with a scared look on her face going down a slide

Kid jumping into a pile of leaves

Baby chewing on a kittens tail

Baby Waking Up

Baby and dog sleeping

Girl coloring all over her baby sister

Baby and dog trying to get through the doggy door

Static Electricity

Kid face first into the water

Kid holding his head

Kid with a frog in his mouth

Kid getting ready to skate down a hill into the water

Baby Eating Watermelon

Baby eating out of the dog food bowl

NOW THAT YOU HAVE SMILED a TIME or TWO - Share these with others!!

> THE NEXT SURVIVOR SERIES
>
> Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and
> 3 kids each for six weeks.
>
> Each kid will play
> two sports
> and either take music
> or dance classes.
>
> There is no fast food.
>
> Each man must
> take care of his 3 kids;
> keep his assigned house clean,
> correct all homework,
> and complete science projects,
> cook, do laundry,
> and pay a list of ‘pretend’ bills
> with not enough money.
>
> In addition, each man
> will have to budget in money
> for groceries each week.
>
> Each man
> must remember the birthdays
> of all their friends and relatives,
> and send cards out
> on time–no emailing.
>
> Each man must also
> take each child to a doctor’s appointment,
> a dentist appointment
> and a haircut appointment.
>
> He must make
> one unscheduled and inconvenient
> visit per child
> to the A & E.
>
> He must also
> make biscuits or cakes
> for a social function.
>
> Each man will be responsible for
> decorating his own assigned house,
> planting flowers outside
> and keeping it presentable
> at all times.
>
> The men will only
> have access to television
> when the kids are asleep
> and all chores are done.
>
> The men must
> shave their legs,
> wear makeup daily,
> adorn himself with jewellery,
> wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes,
> keep fingernails polished
> and eyebrows groomed.
>
> During one of the six weeks,
> the men will have to endure severe abdominal cramps, back aches,
> and have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once complain or
> slow down from other duties.
>
> They must attend
> weekly school meetings,
> church, and find time
> at least once to spend the afternoon
> at the park or a similar setting.
>
> They will need to
> read a book to the kids
> each night and in the morning,
> feed them, dress them,
> brush their teeth and
> comb their hair by 8:00 am.
>
> A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the following information:
> each child’s birthday,
> height, weight,
> shoe size, clothes size
> and doctor’s name.
> Also the child’s weight at birth,
> length, time of birth,
> and length of labour,
> each child’s favourite colour,
> middle name,
> favourite snack,
> favourite song,
> favourite drink,
> favourite toy,
> biggest fear and
> what they want to be when they grow up.
>
> The kids vote them off the island
> based on performance.
> The last man wins only if…
> he still has enough energy
> to be intimate with his spouse
> at a moment’s notice.
>
> If the last man does win,
> he can play the game over and over
> and over again for the next 18-25 years
> eventually earning the right
> To be called Mum!